Narcissistic Abuse follows the same patterns as any abusive cycle, specifically involving a perpetrator (Narcissist) and a recipient(the abused; The Empath). According to modern psychology, a person is considered a Narcissist if/when they meet specific criteria (found here), and once truly diagnosed with Narcissistic Personality Disorder, it is considered a nearly irreversible condition.
A Narcissist will constantly attempt to control others by using a combination of harmful tactics: coercive control, emotional or psychological manipulation, and high-level gaslighting are a few methods by which The Narcissist aims to dimmish and belittle their target.
The strategies within this cycle are nuanced, calculated, and long term. Over enough time, this increases the likelihood that the abused will experience long term, negative side effects such as sleep disorders, C-PTSD, and anxiety/depression.
There are many ways in which someone may be affected by the NAC; while the experience may be overwhelming, you are not alone and support is available. When you need help, we are here for you.
The American Psychological Association (APA) defines Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) as a complex psychological condition (recognized in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-5-TR)) in which the individual displays pervasive patterns of grandiosity, a need for admiration, and a total lack of empathy. Individuals with NPD may exhibit a sense of superiority, entitlement, and a tendency to exploit others for personal gain.
It is important to remember that a Narcissist is NOT (to their severe chagrin) as powerful or superior as they would have you believe. A true Narcissist feels threatened when encountering someone who displays high levels of intuition, compassion, patience, and the ability to love unconditionally. Through insidious methods of manipulation over time, a Narcissist aims to make You rife with self-doubt, confusion, and a lack of confidence.
By convincing others to relinquish their power, the narcissist derives immense pleasure in securing a ‘superior’ position. It’s ironic that, in this cycle of abuse, it is the Empath (or the abused) who are the powerful ones. Remember this the next time you are facing the abusive cycle. The only win if/when You decide to edit, censor, or otherwise silence a part of you Self. You choose, not them.
Did you know? Narcissists are masters in acting and are constantly living in a fantasy realm. They are naturally well-versed at doing or saying the most hurtful things but done in an imperceptible manner. Think you or someone you know might suffer from NPD? There are confidential evaluations!
In short, you likely already know. You’ve known the entire time and have chosen to distrust your intuition (gut feeling) and/or your analytical, logical Mind. If you find yourself confused or repeatedly questioning the ‘goodness’ of their actions (“they must know what they’re doing, right?”; “Don’t they care how much I’m hurting?”; “What did I do wrong?”), chances are highly likely that you are cycling through these abusive behaviors. Remember: Narcissists choose to prey on the Powerful, the Intelligent, the Empathic people.
If you are currently experiencing the ill-effects of Narcissistic abuse, hold on to the truth that you are the individual with strength, with integrity, with True Love. It is not necessary or required for you to continuously extend your grace, forgiveness, and compassion to someone who squanders it.
Intense idealisation at the start, followed by sudden criticism and withdrawal.
Currently, there are no formal evaluations or screenings to determine whether someone is trapped or affected by NA. Instead, professionals utilize a variety of trauma-based assessments (the presence of PTSD, anxiety/depression, dissociation, etc.). We endeavor to create a world where support is widely and readily available for the victims of the NA cycles, via education, raising awareness, and naming/speaking to these harmful behaviors.
While there is no official way to determine if Someone is victimized by this abusive cycle, here are a few key factors that detail what One might be experiencing if being preyed upon by a Narcissist.
When another person constantly condescends or talks down to you, criticizes your ideas and decisions, or uses emotional manipulation/exploitation, their aim is to get you to feel terribly about yourself; to submit; to doubt or disbelieve the Self. Through these methods of exploitation, harsh criticisms, belittling insults, or words of invalidation, the targeted person is being groomed (or systematically trained) to give up their autonomy, their trust, and their Value.
Especially in situations involving to covert/malignant Narcissist, manipulative isolation is a often used with gaslighting in order to ‘prove’ to their victim that they(the targeted) are alone, that no one cares, that they are a failure. Isolation from friends/family, erosion of trust, difficulty forming new relationships, and trauma bonding that keeps victims attached to the abuser